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Did you hear what happened to Flopsey?

January 16, 2012


Pac Moon

December 3, 2011


September 29, 2011

For those of you not in the know the ‘Superser’ was parents’ chosen method of ‘warming up’ their family up to as late as the 1990’s. It was essentially a gas fuelled mobile heater, much more convenient then lighting a real fire, which involved the highly skilled art of pinning sheets of newspaper to the face of the hearth until they caught fire or got sucked up the chimney.

Manys the freezing morning dirty faced school children would run down to consume their soggy, cardboard like breakfast, huddled round the Superser, as one, then the other parent would struggle to get the open faced toaster on wheels lit.

It used a simple flint ‘clicker’ system to ignite the firey face. ‘Click-click-hold, click-click’, went the button somehow spelling out “I’m gassing my children” in morse code. The parents shouted instructions to each other through chattering teeth, “No, it’s click-hold-click! You idiot”, they’d shout.

Eventually the Superser would catch and, degree by degree, the family would warm up to a point that could almost be called ‘cozy’. At this exact moment though the Superser must be turned off as its coincides with when the family must leave for the school run, scamper from the house and pile into the car.

Unfortunately the same factory that made the Superser clicker was also the one that manufactured the ‘Choke’ device often found in mid to low prices family cars of the time. Again the parents grow frustrated with each other, as the magic combination of timings and sequences must be found. “Pull it out, now pump the accelerator three times and turn the ignition” “No it’s: pump, pull, turn, push back in”. “Ah fuck, now it’s flooded”.

Once ‘Flooded’ the entire family would have to get out into freezing conditions and push start the car until all the warmth the Superser had managed to instil was gone.

Superser hated my family.

Years later, while working part time, I saw one laying on it’s back being used as an over sized sandwich grill by the other workers on their lunch break. I watched as the molten cheese and tomato dripped down from their sambo’s onto the element, ruining it forever. I hastily grabbed my own sambo from the fridge and tossed it on the improvised grill. Cheese, butter and ham ‘juice’ poured delightfully from my sandwich as the heater sizzled and spat in it’s death throws. “Not so ‘Super’ now my old foe, not so super now.”


September 29, 2011


September 13, 2011

Spare some change?

September 2, 2011

My problem with 3D cinema

June 15, 2011

A few months ago I went to see Toy Story 3. For me it was the best movie of 2010, even better than Inception. It was just a perfect piece of film making: a superb story, told superbly. I’m not afraid to admit it there may have been some welling happening behind those 3D glasses. I like to say that I was moved…as opposed to touched, which sounds a bit pervey.

“So you had a great time Paul, good for you, what’s that? You have something to moan about? Oh, for fuck sake here we go…”

So here’s is my problem; going to see a great movie is one of those rare occasions where you are able to experience something wonderful as part of a group, meaning, in this instance, your fellow Woody and Buzz fans. This sometimes also happens from time to time seeing a band or maybe a stand up gig; everyone having the same feeling at once.

It’s something rare for people in todays society. Gone are the days when 1 million people would show up to hear what the Pope had to say, or thousands attend huge political rallies or sit-ins or whatever.

I found though, that night, wearing the 3D glasses gave me a certain disconnect with those around me who, whether they liked it or not, I wanted to share this story with, on a sort of, you know communal level. Instead, I was having my own private experience as the thick framed, dark glasses created an enclosed personal barrier between me and those around me.

I think it’s healthy for people to have a gestalt experience every now and then, it makes us less ego centric. And it’s sad to see that one of the remaining arena’s which gives people this opportunity is now offering a more isolated experience.